Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
