I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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