I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
