YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Randomize
