Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
