This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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