There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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