i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
