Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My feet surprised me
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