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Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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