I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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