i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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