I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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