Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
