There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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