fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
