bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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