The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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