where does the pee come out of this thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize