I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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