do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
