she was so not down for the gang bang
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
