Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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