I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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