Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
