hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
