If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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