I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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