I hate all girls vehemently.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
