I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
