I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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