The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Terrible idea I love it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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