Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Panties = found
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
