I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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