i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I forget how to act sober
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
