In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
