She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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