But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
