My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
