im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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