last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
