So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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