Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
