matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
