Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
worst night to have a conscience
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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