please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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