i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
