Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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