So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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