So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Randomize
